those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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