Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
