my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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