mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
