I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
