It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
