Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ugly people sure do ruin things
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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