I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
