I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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