Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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