it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
