a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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