ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
