he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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