i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I DEMAND FORESKIN
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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