Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
