Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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