He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
