I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize