he thought i was a dude.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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