Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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