ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Let's get the cat blown out
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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