Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize