Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
