just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
