woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i drank out of a bidet.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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