At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
