He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
