I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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