Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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