Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
