There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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