Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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