taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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