3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
