Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
