i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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