No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
