btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules