once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
