Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.

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  (734): i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left. http://tfl.nu/94x2
  Replies (19) Good night (9123) Bad night (709)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

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  (215): best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load" http://tfl.nu/n15m
  Replies (20) Good night (5041) Bad night (993)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.

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  (305): We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had. http://tfl.nu/tauu
  Replies (26) Good night (5674) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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  (248): The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again http://tfl.nu/1sak
  Replies (15) Good night (1146) Bad night (4790)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.

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  (812): It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus. http://tfl.nu/yin3
  Replies (16) Good night (586) Bad night (2180)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal

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  (713): My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal http://tfl.nu/z8hr
  Replies (6) Good night (1755) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

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  (843): Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex. http://tfl.nu/rb17
  Replies (11) Good night (505) Bad night (1817)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.

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  (416): I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting. http://tfl.nu/0atv
  Replies (10) Good night (513) Bad night (1061)
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  (415): View more from California

  you should be awarded for your promiscuity.

  (1-415): View more from California

  i really should.

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  (415): you should be awarded for your promiscuity. (1-415): i really should. http://tfl.nu/3phz
  Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.

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  (612): I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around. http://tfl.nu/8ahv
  Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (314)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..

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  (740): I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now.. http://tfl.nu/kgaa
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (249)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.

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  (414): you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business. http://tfl.nu/y67z
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  A tequila worm?

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  (503): Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship (1-503): A tequila worm? http://tfl.nu/a648
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (567): View more from Ohio

  If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.

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  (567): If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you. http://tfl.nu/fy7x
  Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"

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  (972): He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?" http://tfl.nu/pqbh
  Replies (4) Good night (214) Bad night (641)

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