just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
