yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
