I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize