Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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