That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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