If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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