enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
