why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
