We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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