He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize