I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
