I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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