She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
