Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
