I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
And then my night got REAL pukey
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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