Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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