Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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