butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
