Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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