FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
