Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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