I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
