Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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