she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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