So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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