it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
