Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
