Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dignity is for republicans.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
