I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
