it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I wish i was in the wii world.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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