found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
